Just sit, just breathe, just be

Sometimes, we make things too complicated. One simple way I've found to reset my attitude is giving myself permission to do absolutely nothing for five minutes.  I set an alarm and just sit wherever I happen to be--in my car, on the couch (with TV off), or at my desk (with computer off). Meditation need not be a big to do!  Give yourself permission to set aside whatever might be worrisome or challenging, and just sit, just breathe and just be.  Scientific research shows that, when trying to solve a difficult problem, it is helpful to set the problem aside for a few minutes. Taking this small break improves our critical thinking skills when we return to the problem with fresh eyes (and a fresh brain!)

Another tip is to write down on a piece of paper exactly what the problem is, then set that paper aside for five minutes. This can demonstrate to your mind that you give yourself permission to stop thinking about it.

If you feel to anxious trying to sit still and do nothing, feel free to get up and take a walk for five minutes (with cellphone off).  Just walk, just breathe and just be--it truly can be that simple.

Be happy being!

Keeping Calm in the middle of the Chaos—some meditative tools for the Fourth of July

Setting off fireworks may seem like a strange time to practice meditation, but what better time to be fully present in the moment than when handling gunpowder and an open flame?  The Fourth of July is an excellent time to practice the three key components of most meditative practices:  Concentration, Natural Awareness, and Positive Imagery.

Many people think that meditation is just a process practiced while sitting quietly in the pretzel position.  Thank goodness that we have many more, even better opportunities to practice these time-tested tools.  Let’s take a look at how you might integrate these three techniques into any moment of any day.

First, we begin with concentration.  As you are reading these words, stop for a few moments and be aware of the tiny sensations of breathing in and breathing out.  You can have your eyes open or closed-either way is okay.  Concentrating on your breath for a few moments actually lowers your blood pressure and can help decrease the stress hormones in your body.  To get started, you might even breathe in counting to four, and breathe out counting to six.  A longer outbreath automatically slows down your heartbeat.

It’s normal that random thoughts and feelings, even sounds and sensations, will arise when you practice concentration.  Instead of trying to ignore them or push them away, try incorporating them INTO the meditative experience by imagining each one to be nothing more than a cloud floating by in the sky.  We notice the distraction and then return to the focusing on the breath.  You can practice concentration while you flip the hamburgers on the grill, or while sitting poolside watching the children play. 

Second, we can practice being more aware of our surroundings. Right now, gently gaze straight ahead for a few moments, expanding your peripheral vision.  You can pick an imaginary “spot” about three feet in front of your eyes.  Gently focus on that spot, then expand your awareness to radiate out in all directions. Practice simply being aware and present to whatever arises, moment by moment.  This practice is sometimes called Choiceless Awareness or Neutral Curiosity.  When you are in midst of a party, surrounded by family and friends and noise and conversation and whatever else arises, this practice helps you be more fully present in the midst of it all. 

Third, we can practice cultivating positive emotions.  Whenever families or friends are gathered, a myriad of feelings and situations may arise.  We can use whatever happens as a chance to cultivate a sense of loving-kindness and compassion, both for ourselves and for others.  Neurological research now proves that imagining these positive emotions creates more positive neural networks in our brains, enabling us to more naturally and more often experience them.

My father-in-law LOVED fireworks, and each year he would try to outdo himself with new gadgets and inventions to create even higher arcs for all flying objects.  He lived far enough out of the city that there no laws were broken, but I still consider it a miracle that no appendages or eyes were lost.  Whether his experiments succeeded or failed, he didn’t seem to mind either way.  He was completely in the moment and found great joy in every colorful explosion and loud noise. He recalled great happiness in seeing his grandchildren mesmerized by his tenacity, enthusiasm and pyrotechnical feats.

What better time to try to be present than when a Roman Candle whizzes by your head?  Happy Fourth of July!

Thanks to Organic Spa for posting this article!  Check them out at http://blog.organicspamagazine.com/

Teaching Kids Self-Regulation Through the Practice of Meditation

Here's my latest article in "Macaroni Kids" on teaching kids to meditate:

When I tell parents that we teach meditation to kids as young as five years old, most parents wince with disbelief! It may seem impossible to get young kids to do anything that includes being quiet and sitting still, but we have discovered that kids actually love the practice, when introduced to it in small, bite-size pieces. First, it is helpful to de-mystify meditation. At its most basic, meditation is nothing more than creating a gap between stimulus and response, and research shows that children who can practice impulse control are more likely to be successful later in life. (You can google the now-famous “Stanford University marshmallow experiment”.)

Here is an easy meditation practice that you can try with your children at home. Find a bell or gong, something that has some resonance to it. Before ringing the bell, ask them to raise their hand when they can no longer hear the sound of the bell. This initial practice teaches them concentration.

Then, try the silent walking game—before beginning the walk, encourage the children to look at the world around them and be aware of what colors, sounds and smells they encounter—they can point to something interesting and do pantomime, but without talking. This exercise increases their awareness of what is going on around them.

After a short walk, give them an interesting photo or painting to look at, and ask them to write down (or draw) whatever comes to mind. This process teaches them to be aware of their thoughts and emotions. It’s great to have a discussion with them about what they wrote or the picture they drew. We find that many kids come up with amazing stories and deeply connect with what they see and feel.

Lastly, give them some examples of positive emotions--like smiling, love, happiness, joy, laughter.  Ask them to describe to you what these emotions feel like. “What does it feel like in your body when you laugh?” “How would you describe the feeling of happy?” “When you feel like smiling, what does that feel like in your body?” This process is designed to strengthen their ability to imagine positive emotions in greater detail and to gain confidence that they can create the experience of a positive emotion, even if their external circumstances haven’t changed or when they are having some difficulty.

These simple practices incorporate the three key components of meditation: concentration, natural awareness and positive imagery. If done on a regular basis, we have children who will actually ask their parents to “meditate” with them. It is wonderful bonding and calm time, for both parent and child. You can find out more about meditation at SerenityPause.org. Enjoy!

Janet Nima Taylor is a meditation teacher and author of Meditation for Non-Meditators: Learn to Meditate in Five Minute a Day, available at Amazon.com.


http://national.macaronikid.com/article/716438/teaching-kids-self-regulation-through-the-practice-of-meditation

One Easy Meditation Tool for today

Starting in June, I will be doing a three-minute segment each month on meditation tips and tools at our local station Channel 4 here in Kansas City, and will post the links.  I'm so excited to share several easy ways to get a meditation practice started and begin integrating meditative moments into every day.  We are finalizing the details this week, and I'll be back with more information.

EASY MEDITATION TOOL: One simple way to begin being more present is to put a rubber band on your wrist as a reminder to take three slow, full deep breaths a few times throughout the day.  It helps to breathe in counting to four, and breathe out counting to six.  Research shows that a longer outbreath automatically lowers your blood pressure, and actually pulls more oxygen into your body--getting oxygenated is a good thing!  Whenever you notice the rubber band, take three meditative breaths.  Eyes open and no one will know that you are getting into your meditative groove!  It's a great tool to use before stressful meetings or interactions with difficult people.  Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Happy Wednesday!
Nima

Five Minutes and Five Moments

Most people make starting a meditation practice too big of a deal--like the a big decision to start a new diet (which often leads to failure AND more guilt). I've found far greater success when people begin with the smallest of baby steps--five minutes and five moments.  First, find five minutes sometime during the day to do nothing but be aware of the tiny sensations of breathing.  It can be in your car before you put the key in the ignition, or sitting at your desk, or hiding out in the restroom ( that is a great place to meditate while at work :-).

Second, find five moment throughout the day when you decide to be fully aware of all the sensations, emotions and thoughts happening in one moment--like when your feet first touch the floor in the morning, or when you take that first sip of coffee or tea.  It's helpful to decide the night before what five moments you commit to being present, and write them down as a reminder.  Then, go easy on yourself when you forget. I've often had to get back into bed and begin again because I wasn't "present" for the first arising.

These two baby steps can lead to big changes. The Grand Canyon didn't happen in one day--it was simply water wearing away rock little by little.  Enjoy!

Seven Easy Steps to Start Meditating

One of the main misconceptions about meditation is that it requires converting to a new "religion" or spiritual belief.  FALSE!  Secular Meditation has now been scientifically studied and found to have wonderful physiological, psychological and emotional benefits. Research has shown that regular meditators improve their immune system and have lower levels of cortisol and adrenaline in their bloodstreams. Meditation is an excellent addition to any addiction therapy, and there is research that demonstrates an increased success rate in sobriety (from whatever the addiction might be....) Meditation also increases the part of your brain that lights up when you experience happiness.  All good stuff!

The only drawback to meditation is it takes some time (starting with five minutes per day), and it might initially feel weird or uncomfortable.  About 90% of what we do are habitual responses, so when we try to make even the slightest change in our routine, we will find it somewhat unsettling.  Ever tried to brush your teeth with your other hand?  Your brain will send signals that something isn't quite right.  It will feel difficult and strange.   Knowing that these experiences are a natural part of the process can help you get through the early stages of meditation.  Keep sitting and watching your breath--even if it feels weird or odd. Just notice that feeling, and imagine it to be like another cloud floating by in the sky :-)

Below are seven easy steps to start a meditation routine. This can be done sitting in a special chair at home, in your car (when it's not moving!), sitting at your desk (you don't even have to close your eyes!) or waiting in line at the grocery store.  Any five minutes throughout the day can count towards your meditation goal.  

1. Straighten your spin and relax your shoulders.  You can sit in a chair or on a mat and cushion, whichever you prefer. (or even be standing or walking)
2. Take three slow, deep breaths, breathing in counting to four, breathing out counting to six.
3. Bring your awareness into your body, aware of how your feet feel against the floor.
4. Allow the breath to find its natural rhythm.
5. Focus awareness on the tiny sensations of breathing in and breathing out.
6. It’s normal that thoughts and feelings, even sounds and other sensations will arise.  Imagine each one to be like a cloud floating by in the sky.  We practice finding a balance of simply being aware of everything as if they were all clouds floating by, while continuing to focus attention on the breath.
7. There will be exact moments when you realize that you have been distracted.  Each of those moments can be celebrated! Those are moments of awareness. Then, just return to focusing on your breath.

What to do when tragedy strikes....

Here in Kansas City, we are struggling with the killing of three people by a 73-year old man filled with a lifetime of hatred and anger.  At the same time, there have been random shootings at cars on freeways around town and even at schools.  How can we cope with the feelings of fear, sadness, anger, rage, terror-the emotions that often rise up from the depths of our being?

From a meditative perspective, we have this precious moment to stop and decide how best to response, how to choose the most skillful action.  We can use the practices of concentration, awareness and positive imagery to transform our outrage into a force for positive action.

I have always been awed by the response of the Amish community when, in 2006, a man went inside an Amish school house in rural Pennsylvania and shot ten young girls, killing five.  Having children myself, I can understand the anger and rage that would arise from such senseless killing.  But, the Amish community banded together to immediately begin practicing compassion and forgiveness.  One of the grandfathers of the young girls killed, went and sat with the family of the man who killed her.  

What response will you choose today, to whatever thought, emotion or situation is arising in your life?  

After 27 years in prison, Nelson Mandela was freed.  A woman came up to him and begged him NOT to talk about about peace, because of all the horrific violence that his tormented people had endured for decades.  That night, Nelson Mandela went on national South African television, and began his address with, "I'm here to talk about peace."  His words and actions of reconciliation, in spite of the horrific treatment he and his own family had endured, saved a nation.

What can you do today to transform the world you live in? Being fully present, we can learn how best to pro-actively respond to whatever tragedy arises.  Be a force for change by beginning with yourself.  Sometimes it is time to fight back, sometimes it is time to resist, and sometimes it is time to be at peace--you can only know the most skillful response if you are fully present in the moment.

Moments are like snowflakes, each on unique and ephemeral...cherish each one!

Welcome the the first blog for SerenityPause.org!

I'm reflecting on a recent 10-day silent retreat where I came back to a realization that I had long ago--each moment is so unique and so precious, like a snowflake, yet I waste so many of them by not be fulling present. When I slow down and breathe into the moment, the world around me seems to calm down as well--it's the miracle of awareness!  Being fully present enables me to experience the essence of being alive, and gives me the insights and information I need to make enlightened decisions, not from the conditioned habits of my past, not from my projected worry of the future, but from the facts and reality as I know them in this moment.  And if I change my decision, there is always another moment right around the corner, to choose again and again.

choose to be present.  choose to be alive.  choose to truly live.